Sometimes, travelling is the disadvantage of trips

Having bumped into too many Punches and Judies in Khajuraho with their community spirits, I felt it was time for me to go. On to the next destination: Varanasi! A six-hour-trip on coach (by the way, 'wreck' is a better word for this vehicle than 'coach'!) over a road ('an assembly of stones' would be a better description), I arrived in Satna at the end of the day. First, I had to find a way to get rid of all my riksha buddies (something at which I have become quite skilled. Subtlety is not part of their vocabulary and everyone who has known me for longer than a day knows that I can be incredibly blunt, so I do enjoy myself here!) and then I had to look for a hotel. I spent the night in a typical Indian hotel above a coffeehouse (where, of course, only men could be found drinking 'chai', because their wives have to clean the houses!). The next day I had to get up early again to catch the train at half past eight. I was a little scared because of all the stories I had heard about thefts of rucksacks in the night train on this route. For this reason I had chosen an air-conditioned compartment with 6 instead of 8 passengers in total. As it was my last train journey in India, I decided to go for it - all of this for the stunning price of 35 guilders.

Everything went according to plan and at the end of the day I arrived in Varanasi. OK, I had to breathe hard but after that I was ready to go and find myself a riksha who would take me where I wanted to go. That went a bit like this: 'How much is it to go by riksha to Dasawameth Gath?' [the biggest beach place in the Ganges; from there it is easy to walk to the different hotels and guesthouses]. It cost 30 rupees. In simplified English and very clearly I explained that I wanted to go straight there. Alas, two of his friends jumped into his riksha and then you know what to expect… Yes, indeed: halfway there, the riksha was parked and they asked if I had already found a hotel.

I was furious. I said that I did not need a hotel and that they had to drive straight to Dasawameth Gath. There was to be no discussion about that; after all, I had explained myself clearly enough. They hesitated. Then, they tried again: 'Yogi lodge? Shanti guesthouse?' 'NO!' I answered, 'I'll explain it one more time: you drive to the Gath NOW, IMMEDIATELY, or otherwise I will not pay you at all!' He had promised to take me there for 40 rupees. His two friends had already jumped out of the riksha. They were frightened, for they understood that they could not do any business here. (Smart asses!) Alright, there we went again.

You will never guess what happened next. At a certain point he stooped again and told me that the police would not allow him to drive any further. 'What a funny joke,' I replied, 'but you can't fool me!' I insisted that this was not Gath (for I could not see anything that resembled the Ganges only slightly) and stayed inside the riksha. Now, it was his turn to become angry. I can assure you that I really enjoyed it. I refused to pay him and stayed where I was. He desperately kept repeating that he really was not allowed to go any further and that I could ask anybody to check if this was true. 'Yeah, right,' I said, 'but all these people are your mates, so you don't fool me!'

In the end, some five minutes later, I found out that he was speaking the truth. The street had been closed because of the Devali festival (a sort of combination of Christmas and New Year's Eve for the Hindus). I did wonder for some time what I should pay him, but decided to give him the 40 rupees. That was it. Now I only had to find a hotel. First I asked a couple if they knew any hotels nearby. They turned out to be Dutch. They told me they were staying at a hotel on the other side of town, because the hotels here were all very dirty and miserable… (When I told him this story the next day, my travel companion Andrew remarked that 'they must have been exactly like you used to be a year ago while on holiday!' Thanks, Andrew!)

In the end, this part of the holiday was also a success, when I found myself a room with a view on the Ganges. Last but not least, I also had a good rice meal, so my happiness was complete. Once you're there, it's all very easy…

A horror at first sight, marvellous on second glance!!!

That is how I would describe Varanasi. It is incredibly crowded and incredibly dirty, but also incredibly beautiful - in short, superb! On my first day there I was lucky: it was the day of the Dewali festival. This is a holy celebration for the god Laksmi, who brings prosperity and happiness. At the same time, a new year begins. There were huge crowds and the whole city was in motion. It was a very colourful sight. There were lots of smells; there was a lot of shouting and beeping. Cows, dogs and goats were roaming the streets, which were also blocked by rikshas, cars, pedestrians, all sorts of litter and of course, heaps of shits from all creatures great and small. Everybody buys new clothes, presents and sweets (hence my comparison with Christmas and New Year's Eve) and being a shopaholic, I had a big smile on my face while I watched this whole spectacle.

This old town is the most impressive part of Varanasi. In this part of town you can find the so-called 'gaths'. Gaths are broad stairs, which lead to the water. On these stairs everyone washes himself or herself or takes a bath. It is a big social outing. But there are also two 'burning gaths'. Yes, indeed, these are the gaths were Hindus who have just passed away are being cremated on big piles of wood. For Varanasi is one of the holiest cities of India for the Hindus. To die in Varanasi and being burnt on one of these gaths is considered to be holiest of all. It does not come cheap, so only the rich can afford such a funeral. It is very unreal, but also very impressive, to watch. You do get frightened when you are walking in the streets and suddenly see four people carry a stretcher holding a dead body over your head because you are in their way.

The little alleys and streets in which you can barely pass someone coming in from the opposite direction are also a treat for all your senses. There are hundreds of small shops, which sell all sorts of rubbish and items. If you need electricity, you can just hang your chord on the cable, which runs through the whole street, and 'steal' electricity this way. Toilets cannot be found within miles, you would not recognise them in these streets anyway. Did you want to buy dollars? No? Drugs? Hash? Marihuana? Just say so! (As if I'd have to travel thousands of kilometres to buy some!!! It almost made me turn into a chauvinist.) But they were really surprised when I said no.

Like a real tourist, I got up at five o'clock in the morning (something I don't do for fun!) to take part in a boat trip over the Ganges. You guessed it: the 'captain' had overslept, so at six o'clock he was woken up by some sadus (people who have not got any possessions, who live on the streets and keep themselves alive with the help of other people's donations). Luckily, we were still in time to see the city wake up at the most beautiful time of day. Can you imagine this: all these people bathe, wash themselves and piss into one of the dirtiest rivers in the world, into which dead bodies of people and cows are also being dumped (because only married people may be buried, others are being thrown into the river with a stone around their necks. And as cows are considered to be holy animals, they are also thrown into the river with a stone around their necks). Then, they wonder why so many people die because of illnesses, which are mainly related to water pollution. Holy will be holy and no bacteria in the world can change this. It was definitely worth the visit - a Breughel painting of India.

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